Kinsa Si Kinsa? (Who is Who?)

Aduna ko’y hinigugma
Babae pod siya
Permanente ming mapangutana,
“Kinsa ang laki ninyong duha?”

Makalibog para sa akoa
Ang pagtubag niining pangutana
Kinsa daw ang lalaki?
Nga babaye man ming duha.

Nahibalo ko ang uban
Dili andam nga masayran
Ang likod sa kamatuoran
Sa malukpanon na gugma.

Dili angay ipangutana
Ning maong butanga
Ang gugma kay gugma
Wa na’y lain pa.

MR

— Paghubad sa English / English translation:

Who Is Who?

My partner, my loved one,
Is also a woman
Thus we’re always asked
“Which of you wears the pants?”

I found myself bewildered
To even find an answer
to “which of you is the man?”
When surely, we both are women!

I know of a few
Who does not wish to know
The truth that lies behind
A love of the universal kind.

I hardly think it’s necessary
To ask such an inquiry
Love is love, as they say,
Nothing more and nothing less, you see.

MR

 

Photo credits: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/90/65/d3/9065d35059790ec09950b1b8288c87ce.jpg

The Empty Chair.

Looking at you looking back at me,
It creates a feeling of serenity.
I wonder if you can really see,
the pain, the aching, in its clarity.

I told you what I found out
I said it strong and said it loud
By God, I closed my eyes and hoped
that far away from me, you won’t lope.

Wake up did I one day to discover,
that in the end I need to be braver.
For all alone had I always been,
Having faith on someone, no one has seen.

MR @ 2016

Photo credits: @aperture24 on Tumblr

Tell Me.

Like how the moon
touches the clouds above
and glows from up the sky

Your love that burns
for me I know,
so don’t you try to deny.

Like how to river
flows endlessly and
amicably turns to falls

I’m right here
waiting at the end,
Yes! I hear your calls

Oh tell me please
and tell me now
that you do feel the same

I’ve been waiting long
and waiting still
For the love you will proclaim.

 

MR@2016

Photo Credits: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5QyAP4Md2qM/hqdefault.jpg

Hold My Hand.

Hi.
I’m glad your here.
Really,
I just need you near.
A while back
I was on my own;
I realized,
I don’t wanna be alone.
Come,
sit beside me.
I need to lean,
on to somebody.
This heart of mine –
it’s trembling,
Head’s in a spin,
I feel like crying.
Thank you,
for being around.
Even though
you’re making no sound.
Being next to you
Is more than enough
Hold my hand,
I love the bliss
in your touch.

MR

The Biggest Change: Epilogue

I’ve never felt anything like this before. Like every part of me is aching, that I am broken. God knows I’ve tried to do everything I can to ease the pain, to forget. Each bottle of whiskey and shot of tequila gave me the illusion of forgetting, but the next day I wake up with a mad headache and still with a broken heart.

Today was no different. It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and I haven’t had any sleep yet. I’ve laid in bed and counted no less than a thousand twists and turns but sleep never came. I’ve read a lot of books hoping that it could knock me right out of consciousness, but anywhere in between I think about the past, about my mistakes, about all that hurt.

I decided to get up from bed and grab a jacket in the closet. I felt the need to get away, clear my head. I put on my sneakers and had my hood up. I went out and immediately felt the cold wind brush against my cheeks. It was a cold evening but I guess I liked that better. The cold makes people numb, maybe it could help put out the burning wretchedness in my heart.

I put my hands in my pocket while I aimlessly walked through the night. I thought that it might be true what they say, that you can never truly appreciate happiness if sadness didn’t exist. Maybe I should just also learn to be happy that I am capable of feeling this surging pain inside me. A lot is going on in my head right now and I don’t think the mere bleakness of the night can put it out. So this is how it feels to lose something you never knew you had until you’ve lost it. It’s been a few months and I haven’t really cried just yet, but I have not been able to talk about it yet, too. Who was there to talk to when nobody seem to understand?

What happened to me wasn’t just a phase, it was some kind of recognition. Finally knowing what you want and ultimately discovering yourself in the process. The knowledge that the universe inside of me was far more than anything that science could ever explain. Something not everybody could understand and not a lot of people can accept.

With my head down, I felt a trickle of tear run down my cheek and thought; like that tear that could never find its way back into my eye, I may not be able to find my way back to myself too. I wiped the tear from my cheek and found myself floating along in the dark. I looked to my right and saw a bright light heading towards my direction getting closer by the second, just before I took a breath and realize what had happened, the world seemed to have collided into me. It all happened so fast.

The last thing I saw was her smile, then on that dark corner of the Earth, I slipped right in.

MR @ 2016

This is but a glimpse of the book I currently am writing. I am nowhere close to being a good writer but I like to write nonetheless. The story is very loosely based on my own. In case I lose my way and find myself unable to finish this, I can look back on my WordPress some time in the future and say “At least, I tried.” ♥

 

Avaya (Call Center Crush)

Ring Ring, there goes Avaya
As her name flashed on the screen
My smile couldn’t get wider.
She popped her head in sight
While I turned mine to greet her
I asked her “What’s up?”
Shyly, she said “Couldn’t be better”
It made me smile even more
And my heart felt warmer.
Was there more I can say
So on the line I could keep her?
But the call had to end
I’d have to wait rather than never.
But in just a few minutes…

Ring Ring, there goes Avaya.
I smiled, It couldn’t get any wider.

 

MR @ 2016

Napalaw (Disappointed)

Sa taliwala sa akong panaghinuktok
Miabot mo sa akong huna-huna.
Gatikaw-tikaw sa kalapdon niining utok
Nga sa kalibog ug mahay, napuno na.

Kaninyo ko gikumpayot
kining damlag ko ug kahilwasan.
Pero ultimo hinigugma ko, nalambigit
Sa inyong lamu-lamo ug pagbinuang.

Wa ko lubos damha
Ang kining mga panghitabo
Ganahan ko mumata
Niining damgong makahahadlok.

Makalupyak kining gibati
Nga lugos kong gitapig-tapigan.
Wala ko damha na masinati
Ang maong sakit sa dughan.

(Amidst the depth of my thoughts
You came across my mind
Minding in and about of my head
that’s full of confusion and regrets.

It’s with you both that I latched on
My fate and my life
But you made a fool out of me
and even involved the person I love.

I never expected
The things that had happened
I just want to wake up
From this terrible nightmare

I feel like I’m drowning with pain
But I continue to hide it.
Never had I thought I’d get acquainted
With this dreadful pain in my chest.)

MR @ 2016

[Photo credits: http://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Disappointed.jpg]

Paglutos.

Wala nimo gisulti
(You may not say it)
Ako ra nabati.
(But I can feel it)

Ang daghang pulong
(The words you said)
Ug makadaot na paghukom.
(Your shrewd judgments of me)

Naglangkob ug kasakit
(Unbearable is the pain)
Ang inyong panag-ambit.
(Of the words you’ve shared)

Putli ang kahapdos
(So deep is the hurt)
Sa inyong mga paglutos.
(brought by your persecution)

Gitago-tagoan ko karon
(Now I try to hide)
Ang hingpit nga kagul-anon.
(The deep sadness from within)

Unta ugma puhon
(Wishing that tomorrow)
naa pay muabot nga paglaum.
(Hope will reign)

MR @ 2016

Binisaya nga balak na gihubad sa Inglis.
(Visayan poetry rendered in English.)

Photo credits: https://agapegeek.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/persecution-1.jpg

Tim-Os Na Gugma

Diri sa kalibutan
Ikaw lang ang gusto.
Bisan unsa pay hisgutan,
Ang kasing-kasing ko, imo.
Sa imong kabut-an
Nadagit ako;
Sa imong batasan
Nahigugma ako.

Ang hangyu lamang
Ni’ng ‘kong kasingkasing’ uhaw;
Kay ang gugma mong,
Walay bahid sa tiaw.
Paminawa ning pulong
Para kanimo inday
Higugmaon tika ug tarong
Hantud ako mamatay.

MR @ 2016